Hello
guys! In this post, I want to tell you about my narrative story. Enjoy :)
Gilly is an Indonesian girl. She likes baking so much. She has a dream to be a famous
pastry chef. Whenever she got home, she always baked and tried new
recipes. When she finished her senior high school, she got a very surprising news because she got a scholarship from the Australian embassy. She was very excited and happy about that because financially she couldn't afford to continue her study abroad. Not long after that, she continued her study majoring
Pastry & Confectionery in Le Cordon Bleu Adelaide, Australia.
When
Gilly moved to Australia, she didn’t know anything about Australia and it was
her first experience going to another country. Many people seemed to consider
her as an idiot person but she didn’t care. She always tried her best to adapt
there. It was easier for her to do so because her aunt loved her and was very
supportive.
In
summer, Gilly went to her college. She has a new spirit to face all of the new
things. When she entered the theory of pastry class, all of her friends were
staring at her. One of them said: “Who is that girl? She looks so different
from us!” but Gilly only smiled at them.
Then the lecturer asked Gilly to come to the front and introduce herself. Gilly
felt confident and she introduced herself, she told her classmates about her
native country and how she came to that university.
All of
her friends were very surprised after hearing her story. But only 2 friends named
Stephen and Prilly who cared and asked her to sit between them. Stephen and
Prilly wanted to know Gilly better, so they had a deep conversation. Gilly was
glad that there were 2 new friends that really understood her situation. After
the class was over, they went around the campus. Stephen and Prilly gave a
campus tour until they arrived at the canteen.
There, Stephen and Prilly gave
some recommendations about the meals and dishes. While they were eating, a handsome
guy approached them. His name was Arnold, he was the most wanted guy in the
campus. All of the girls in Le Cordon Blue campus were drooling at him.
When Gilly looked at Arnold, her jaw was dropping because of his sweet smile. Because she was staring too long, she……………… (TO BE CONTINUED)
When Gilly looked at Arnold, her jaw was dropping because of his sweet smile. Because she was staring too long, she……………… (TO BE CONTINUED)
What? you stopped the story just in that way? I am very curious about the next story.
ReplyDeleteI think you will make this story as the love story, won't you?
May be you can tell us why did Gilly get the scholarship to make the story more detail. she apply for it or maybe something else.
Nice, Nia. Grammatically correct, the chronological order is also good. However, it will be better if you enter more conversation in your story. So that, the story can become more alive.
ReplyDeleteInteresting story Nia! I'm curious about the next part of this story,your story has a good vocabulary. Be careful about your grammar, Ni! Keep improving! ^0^
ReplyDeletenice story nia! i always like to read a story aboutcollege life and you wrote it! can't wait for your next story. good luck nia!
ReplyDeleteHi there...
ReplyDeleteI have always loved a story about pursuing dreams, oh and meeting a cute boy was always a good idea to make your story more interesting. Good grammar, nice story, and maybe you could vary your vocabulary a bit. and if possible, it might be better if you tell us about Gilly's parents, cause it's not clear whether she still have two of her parents or just one of them. Other than that, it was great. Can't wait why Arnold approached them. hehehe
nice story, Nia. you make us so curious with your next story, Nia. can't wait for your next story.
ReplyDeleteand about your writing, overall that's a good writing, Nia. :)
Nice story, Nia. You are successful to make us so curious:) You wrote the story with a correct grammar also chronological order. I thin overall is a good writing, Ni. I really enjoy reading your story. Can't wait for the next of your story! Take care!
ReplyDelete